Category Archives: Pet Peeves

Ontario Transgender Human Rights and Justin Bieber Nude Photos!!!!

JUSTIN BIEBER Totally NAKED! and NUDE! NO SHIRT or NO PANTS would be controversial! but Hot! Steamy! and Sexy! Many TRANSGENDER Females would be happy if he supports TRANSGENDERED RIGHTS! SECRET PHOTOS from a PRIVATE COLLECTION would be DESIRED BY MANY!

Ok, before we get to the

SHOCKING JUSTIN BIEBER NUDE PHOTOS!!!

I need to point your attention to Radell Smith’s DISTURBING! article found here:

http://www.examiner.com/article/luka-magnotta-s-transgendered-ex-gets-new-rights-ontario-human-rights-code.

It’s simply a MUST SEE TO BELIEBE!

Apparently, Ms. Smith felt that NDP representative, Cheri DiNovo’s six-year battle to amend Ontario’s Human Rights legislation to introduce language specifically addressing transgendered individuals was insufficiently newsworthy.In order to remedy this APPALLING! situation she tied in the landmark legislation with a focus on how it will benefit

LUKA MAGNOTTA’S “THE BUTCHER OF MONTREAL’S” TRANSGENDERED EX-GIRLFRIEND!!!

Ok, so I think you get the idea. Smith should be ASHAMED! But this is simply another example of the media’s sensationalist spin on transgender.

Can you imagine what it would be like if we all wrote in such a sensationalist way? Every story disseminated would be interlaced with hyperbolic irrelevant and unrelated information geared simply to generate more traffic/readers to our publications.

In fact, to highlight the excess I decided to generate this blog entry in a style, complimentary to Ms. Smith’s own. Sadly it’s all too easy to do. I would just need to find some related information, regardless of how tenuous such a relation might be to what ostensibly should be the larger subject. In this case:

EXCITING! NUDE PHOTOS OF JUSTIN BIEBER!

I mean, since I’m TRANSGENDERED and I am Canadian just like JUSTIN BIEBER and I love his songs BABY, NEVER SAY NEVER, LOVE ME, EENIE MEENIE, ONE TIME, NEVER LET YOU GO, ONE LESS LONELY GIRL, FAVORITE GIRL, DOWN TO EARTH, AND SOMEBODY TO LOVE it and we both are aware that

TRANGENDERED MISS UNIVERSE CONTESTANT JENNA TALACKOVA WAS NOT ONLY BORN A MALE BUT WAS NAKED AT BIRTH!

Well, the connection is obviously there. Also, we know that Justin Bieber is a caring, kind and warm individual. I’m sure if I could chat with him I could safely affirm:

JUSTIN BIEBER SUPPORTS TRANSGENDER RIGHTS!!!

So that’s just great!

Now about those photos, you know, the ones where

JUSTIN BIEBER IS TOTALLY NAKED!

Wow! they would be amazing wouldn’t they? I mean they sure would be  CONTROVERSIAL!!!

Whew! Anyways, I encourage you to view the readers’ comments at the bottom of Smith’s article. Seems few were fooled by her attempt to generate traffic courtesy of her textbook example of Yellow Journalism.

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Beware of Chimps That Drive: Tales from the Monkeysphere

The other day I decided that in the interest of my overall health and emotional well-being I should undertake a 90 minute walk. I am used to the lovely oceanic vistas provided by the municipality of Oak Bay but having recently moved to Central Saanich I felt it was about time I take in the rustic ambiance of this delightful rural district.

I walked a fair distance basically from about where the local “Thrifty’s” grocery store is located to the Panorama Recreation Centre and back again (a distance of about 5k). Things had progressed comfortably enough and I built up a light sweat as I pushed my pace.

However, about half-way home on the return trek I ran afoul of a local motorist.  He was turning left across my intended path but was hindered in his efforts  by the flow of traffic moving  from the opposite direction. The traffic had cleared and he would have been able to make the turn but for my unfortunate presence.

Suddenly, despite the fact I was halfway across the street he decided to make his move. To my shock and immediate discomfort he abruptly jerked the wheel and accelerated the red pick-up, slamming on his brakes with his bumper  mere inches from my leg! The lady in the car behind him stared open mouthed as I raised my arms in the universally understood sign for WTF!? For his part my would-be assailant merely glared at me and drove off.

I was angered and part of me wanted to retaliate with a shout or maybe a rude gesture but I maintained my ladylike composure and sought refuge in the thought that this was all due to a violation of the poor misanthropic primate’s “Monkeysphere”. At that unfortunate moment when I inhibited the frustrated pick-up driver’s effort to make a left-hand turn I had ceased to become a person to him but in fact had simply become “that annoying thing that won’t let me turn!

How else could one rationalize his behavior? Would he think twice about running his truck towards his mother? His sweetheart? His daughter? He would never dream of doing such a thing. But because I exist outside his Monkeysphere he had no compunction about simulating Death Race 2012 on my ass.

I take no credit for the Monkeysphere and learned of its existence only recently courtesy of David Wong (nom de plume of Jason Pargin, Senior Editor of Cracked.com).  In short, its a term borrowed from Anthopologists; notably Robin Dunbar who saw a correlation between the size of a primate’s neocortex and its social group. For us human types, the number is around 150 people. Anyone outside that number exists outside one’s “Monkeysphere” and is in essence dehumanized, reified and relegated to the status of concept or thing.

Wong’s article is must reading and I’ve dropped “Monkeysphere” consciousness into my philosopher’s bag in order to further understand the nature of the world I live in.

You can find the article in question here: http://www.cracked.com/article_14990_what-monkeysphere.html.

So the next time some stranger accosts you or is rude or otherwise treats you as something less than human rest easy in the knowledge that you simply exist outside the poor primate’s “Monkeysphere”

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“Sorry Wrong Number”

stanwyck

Sometimes you don’t have to look far for something to “Blog” about. In fact, sometimes an interesting topic pretty much drops itself right in your lap. Such was the case last night when through a series of unfortunate events I managed to stumble upon a woman who seemed to have channeled Barbara Stanwyck at her frenzied, panic-stricken, melodramatic best (or worst, as the case may be).

Sue and I had settled down to bed around 9 o’clock last night where Sue quickly went to sleep and I lay contentedly reading Libba Bray’s “Beauty Queens” (about half-way through now) whilst enjoying the soothing therapeutic touch of my Dr Ho’s® Pain Therapy System.

Well poor Sue is in the throes of a Peri-menopausal struggle; one where loud-ish noises, bright lights, late nights, and pretty much anything else generally considered innocuous can take on the characteristics of an emotional landslide. So with dear Sue’s mid-life proclivities firmly in mind I decided to take advantage of my brand new iPhone 4s’ amazing versatility.

A great “app” simply called “Flashlight” allows my iPhone to act just like a flashlight by means of its powerful built-in camera flash. My reading had concluded and the nightstand table lamp had been turned off, but my Dr. Ho continued with its gentle ministrations easing the tension out of sore aching muscles. Now with the room completely dark except for the faint glow emitted by the LEDs of my Dr. Ho I decided to turn the unit off and join Sue in a blissful night’s sleep.

Well, the Dr. Ho can be a bit tricky to turn off insomuch as it incorporates a “wheel” that if turned the wrong way can increase the unit’s massage power to a rather disquieting degree. So on went my phone and with the slightest touch of the “Flashlight” icon I was able to illuminate the area immediately surrounding the on-off wheel. I gently removed the adhesive pads stuck to my shoulders and managed to find the transparent plastic veneers that prevent the massage pads from attracting unwanted hair, dust and grit particles. All was quiet; Sue was fast asleep undisturbed by all the activity going on next to her as my Dr. Ho, book, and iPhone/flashlight prepared to be put away until morning.

And then it happened…

Somehow, in the darkness I had inadvertently turned my ersatz “flashlight” back into a phone and it started dialing!

It rang once but I quickly found the “end call” button and stopped it from ringing any further; hopefully circumventing any harm that might have occurred by disturbing some innocent party on the receiving end.

All was perfectly quiet when after a minute or so my phone began ringing. Without really thinking, I answered it and was rudely introduced to my Barbara Stanwyck doppleganger.

“Who are you? Why do you keep calling here?”

“Oh I am so sorry I…”

“This has been going on for 2 months! You call, let it ring once and hang up!”

“Oh I am so sorry, I just bought this phone and have never called you before. It must have…”

“I warn you this better stop or I am going to the Police with this.”

She was yelling into the phone by this time. Of course all the effort made to avoid disturbing Sue came to naught as she was awakened by my efforts to calm “Barbara” on the other end of what had become a rather unsettling phone call.

There was no reasoning with her. I tried explaining again that my phone was brand new and that there is no way I could have been phoning her nightly for the past 2 months. But my pleadings and sincere efforts to quell her anger fell on deaf ears. She abruptly hung up leaving Sue and myself absolutely nonplussed at the vehement torrent of heated emotion that had broken the serene environment so carefully cultivated over the previous couple of hours.

Needless to say sleep did not come easy to either of us after that and I got up to research ways in which to prevent my cell phone from calling that particular number ever again. Although some options are available opinions vary as to their ultimate effectiveness. I ended up calling Rogers Communications (my phone provider) and asked if there was anything that could be done from their end.

A case-file was opened and I was instructed to follow-up on it after a few business days have passed. I also “googled” the number I had inadvertently called. Apparently it belongs to West Coast Home Theatres. Their phone number is (250) 338-SHOW(7469). If you decide to call them I recommend you let it ring more than once. “Ms. Stanwyck” gets upset if you call just once and hang up.

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