“Sorry Wrong Number”

stanwyck

Sometimes you don’t have to look far for something to “Blog” about. In fact, sometimes an interesting topic pretty much drops itself right in your lap. Such was the case last night when through a series of unfortunate events I managed to stumble upon a woman who seemed to have channeled Barbara Stanwyck at her frenzied, panic-stricken, melodramatic best (or worst, as the case may be).

Sue and I had settled down to bed around 9 o’clock last night where Sue quickly went to sleep and I lay contentedly reading Libba Bray’s “Beauty Queens” (about half-way through now) whilst enjoying the soothing therapeutic touch of my Dr Ho’s® Pain Therapy System.

Well poor Sue is in the throes of a Peri-menopausal struggle; one where loud-ish noises, bright lights, late nights, and pretty much anything else generally considered innocuous can take on the characteristics of an emotional landslide. So with dear Sue’s mid-life proclivities firmly in mind I decided to take advantage of my brand new iPhone 4s’ amazing versatility.

A great “app” simply called “Flashlight” allows my iPhone to act just like a flashlight by means of its powerful built-in camera flash. My reading had concluded and the nightstand table lamp had been turned off, but my Dr. Ho continued with its gentle ministrations easing the tension out of sore aching muscles. Now with the room completely dark except for the faint glow emitted by the LEDs of my Dr. Ho I decided to turn the unit off and join Sue in a blissful night’s sleep.

Well, the Dr. Ho can be a bit tricky to turn off insomuch as it incorporates a “wheel” that if turned the wrong way can increase the unit’s massage power to a rather disquieting degree. So on went my phone and with the slightest touch of the “Flashlight” icon I was able to illuminate the area immediately surrounding the on-off wheel. I gently removed the adhesive pads stuck to my shoulders and managed to find the transparent plastic veneers that prevent the massage pads from attracting unwanted hair, dust and grit particles. All was quiet; Sue was fast asleep undisturbed by all the activity going on next to her as my Dr. Ho, book, and iPhone/flashlight prepared to be put away until morning.

And then it happened…

Somehow, in the darkness I had inadvertently turned my ersatz “flashlight” back into a phone and it started dialing!

It rang once but I quickly found the “end call” button and stopped it from ringing any further; hopefully circumventing any harm that might have occurred by disturbing some innocent party on the receiving end.

All was perfectly quiet when after a minute or so my phone began ringing. Without really thinking, I answered it and was rudely introduced to my Barbara Stanwyck doppleganger.

“Who are you? Why do you keep calling here?”

“Oh I am so sorry I…”

“This has been going on for 2 months! You call, let it ring once and hang up!”

“Oh I am so sorry, I just bought this phone and have never called you before. It must have…”

“I warn you this better stop or I am going to the Police with this.”

She was yelling into the phone by this time. Of course all the effort made to avoid disturbing Sue came to naught as she was awakened by my efforts to calm “Barbara” on the other end of what had become a rather unsettling phone call.

There was no reasoning with her. I tried explaining again that my phone was brand new and that there is no way I could have been phoning her nightly for the past 2 months. But my pleadings and sincere efforts to quell her anger fell on deaf ears. She abruptly hung up leaving Sue and myself absolutely nonplussed at the vehement torrent of heated emotion that had broken the serene environment so carefully cultivated over the previous couple of hours.

Needless to say sleep did not come easy to either of us after that and I got up to research ways in which to prevent my cell phone from calling that particular number ever again. Although some options are available opinions vary as to their ultimate effectiveness. I ended up calling Rogers Communications (my phone provider) and asked if there was anything that could be done from their end.

A case-file was opened and I was instructed to follow-up on it after a few business days have passed. I also “googled” the number I had inadvertently called. Apparently it belongs to West Coast Home Theatres. Their phone number is (250) 338-SHOW(7469). If you decide to call them I recommend you let it ring more than once. “Ms. Stanwyck” gets upset if you call just once and hang up.

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